Most of us think self awareness is same as awareness which means being aware of what’s happening around us. But there is a huge difference between the two terms. Awareness is simply means being aware of happenings in our surrounding but Self Awareness means being aware of what’s happening inside us.
Most of the times we are not aware what’s going inside us especially when we are in emotional stage. Self awareness helps us in observing our anger, emotion, happiness, sadness or any other feeling.
Keeping track of our thoughts in regular day to day situation helps us in managing our emotions even in difficult situation. If we are aware what going inside our mind we are in better situation to regulate it. Being able to regulate our mind after observing the feelings is very important for effective communication and in taking important decisions.
There are innumerous matter for serious thought in our life which need our regular attention. Being a human being we want to solve all the problems and issues which we see around us. Is that possible to resolve all the issues around us. Actually not. We can’t solve each and every issue around us.
Mr. Stephen R. Covey has very rightly said in his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that all the problems around us can be categorised into two situations. They fall under our:
(i) Circle of influence; and
(ii) Circle of Concern
Troubles which fall under our Circle of Influence are those where we have ascendancy to take action which can solve the problem immediately or later on. For example: if we are not feeling well then taking medicine or visiting to doctor is within our circle of influence and we will take that action.
However, the circumstances which fall under circle of concern are those where our action would not directly influence the outcome. For Example: suppose we are taking medicine as suggested by a doctor but its going to take atleast 5 days to recover. However, if we still worry its not going to take lesser time. So this situation is not under our circle of influence. What best we can do is to take rest and take medicine as referred by the doctor.
As a human being, the best strategy for us should be to concentrate on our circle of influence. Moreover, we should continuously try to increase the area of our circle of influence by bringing more things from circle of concern into our circle of influence. This gives us more area to play and apply our skills.
We are a happier person when most of our worries are those where we can take action to solve them instead of just thinking about the same.
Mr. Dale Carnegie has very well said in his one of the best selling books “How to win friends and influence people” that an “Argument is void” and it’s always better to discuss the things & think from other’s point of view as well while communicating. Let’s find out the difference between Discussion and Argument.
Discussion is something where we just put our thoughts and don’t project it as right or wrong whereas Argument is that when we think our point of view is right and we try to prove the same irrespective of thinking from the other’s point of view.
Discussion vs Argument:
Think from all Angles: In discussion we think from other person’s point of view as well. So we don’t get partially blinded and keep our back eyes open. Whereas in an argument we only think from one point of view and don’t listen to others.
Discussion Generates Healthy Ideas: In discussion we are open enough to listen others and don’t try to prove them wrong. We are more focused on positives and negatives of the topic which facilitates healthy discussion instead of focusing on a person’s view.
Discussion is More Logical: In discussion we only put logical points because we don’t try to prove ourselves right always and appreciate other’s view as well if they are logical.
Argument is More Emotional: An argument may get highly emotional sometimes leading to fight between the parties involved.
Discussion is More purposeful: Purpose of a discussion is to arrive at a logical and fruitful conclusion whereas in argument both the parties try to prove themselves right and ultimately we don’t get any result out of argument making it VOID.
This is really easy to blame others for our failures. We keep thinking that if our parents would have done this then we would have achieved that, if our government would have provided this facility I could achieve that etc etc.
Does this approach really help us in moving forward in life. Actually not – every time we fail we try to find out a person or circumstance on which we can put the blame of the result. At the end we don’t learn from our mistakes because we don’t accept them and repeat the same errors again and again.
It’s time to rise above all our excuses and take charge of our life and making ourself responsible for our current situation good or bad. Only then we can make a better future for ourself.
Recently, I read the below quote by author T.D. Jakes in his book “Making Great Decisions”.
“I am what I am today because of the decisions I made yesterday”
This has influenced me a lot. It teaches me to take full responsiblity of my actions and not blaming others for my failures. This also reminds me that my actions today will be directly responsible for the results I will be getting in future.
Please let me know your thoughts on the same in comment section.
I like reading self development books. Recently, I was reading “Designing Your Life” by Dave Evans & Bill Burnett, and I very much liked the discussion about a human psychology of choosing the “Path of Least Resistance” given in the book.
According to this psychological theory, we as a human always tend to chose a path which is easiest and is most prominently visible to us. Similarly, we go for the idea which comes first to our mind and we immediately think that it is the best solution for us and try hard to achieve the same. However, that first idea may not be the best for us but only easiest for us.
The best idea may come little later after thinking quite deeply and working further on the prototype of first idea. So it’s always good to keep thinking and be receptive to new things coming on our way.
In today’s world every human is part of a race where everyone wants to come first and more importantly defeat others. We are running and just running blindly to achieve success which may or may not mean anything to us. But unfortunately this is a normal state in a human’s life. Can’t we change it to something better? Can’t we think of a situation where everyone wins?
I am really inspired by a thought discussed by Mr Stephen Covey in his book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” that Win-Win is an ideal result in any situation. When we work for a win-win situation we build a very strong and long term relationship with the other person. In this kind of situation we don’t accept anything where any of the participating parties is on losing side. We are equally concerned about the welfare of other party as of ours. This seems really difficult but once we develop this HABIT we feel huge sense of accomplishment & happiness and build super strong bond & trust in our personal and professional life.
Some of the below mentioned traits and feelings can help us in creating a Win-Win habit in our life:
Abundance Resource: We need to believe that there is abundance availability of opportunity and benefits in each and every situation and we are going to get our share irrespective of the other person’s component.
Equality: Everyone has equal right on goods, services and resources irrespective of the stature, caste and religion.